During my pregnancy, I never really had a moment of pure elation, pure joy, unadulterated anticipation of the arrival of a bundle of joy. I never had an ultrasound where everything was going well, where there was no cause for concern. I was always worried by the bleeding and the hematoma and wondered about the outcome of the pregnancy. I was cautious about telling people and a little bit superstitious about buying baby things. I kept telling my husband that I did not want to buy anything until later on in the pregnancy but he kept taking me shopping and even bought a few baby blankets behind my back at one point. I eventually gave in and tried to not let all of that bother me and even tried to enjoy picking out clothes and other things for our little one.
I had my second episode of bleeding late at night, just like the first one, when I had my appointment at Maternal Fetal Medicine the very next morning. This was also mostly dark colored blood, but this time it came with bad cramps. Cramps that made me double over in pain and made it very difficult for me to turn over in bed or get out of bed to go to the bathroom. But I did have to go to the bathroom every hour or so, just like the last time.
I had to call in sick from work because the pain was still really bad in the morning. I was rather worried about how I was going to drive myself to the doctor's office in that state. My husband had a meeting at work at about the same time that day so he could not drive me. He offered to ask one of his friends to drive me. I told him I was more comfortable driving myself. I would be a little embarrassed if I had to ask his friend to stop a few times along the way so that I could go to the restroom in a Dunkin' Donuts or something. Plus, the place I had to go to at the hospital was clearly marked "Maternal Fetal Medicine" and I was not comfortable talking to this guy about the fact that I was pregnant. Not just yet, anyway. I had not even told my own brother at that point.
I was more worried about whether or not they would actually do an ultrasound while I was bleeding. The last three times, the ultrasound technicians had scanned me vaginally and also abdominally. I was not so sure about the vaginal part when I was actively bleeding. I called them to ask about it. They told me that it was okay, I could come in and they would do the ultrasound.
I used a couple of plastic grocery store bags to line my car seat and then drove off to the hospital. With much difficulty I made it from the parking lot to the restroom near the reception area. I had not stopped on the way to visit a restroom, and I was relieved to see that the bleeding had slowed down considerably. But I was still in a lot of pain. I asked the front desk staff if I would get to meet an actual doctor after the ultrasound. I wanted to know if I needed to stop by the OB's office to have my questions answered or if they could take care of them right there. They told me that, each time I had an ultrasound at their office, I would get to meet a doctor afterwards.
The ultrasound technician asked me if I had had any bleeding during the pregnancy. I almost laughed at the question. I told her about my two bleeding episodes and that I was still spotting at that moment. She told me that the baby was big enough now, at almost twelve weeks, to be seen properly in an abdominal scan and she didn't need to scan me vaginally any more. That was a bit of a relief, because it seemed like a vaginal scan would have added to the pain and discomfort at that time. She told me that the gel she was going to use for the ultrasound had been warmed up a little. That turned out to be a good thing, because that warm sensation on my belly seemed to help with the pain somewhat. She showed me each part of my little one's body as she scanned. She pointed out the baby's stomach, head, hands, feet and even kidneys. The good news was that the baby was growing normally. The bad news was that the hematoma had grown a little bit more. Even so, this was the first time I could see something clearly resembling a baby on the ultrasound monitor and it did feel like a miracle to know that I had life growing inside me.
The technician kept saying that the baby was moving all over the place. I could see the baby's limbs and head on the ultrasound screen, but it was hard for me to tell when I saw movement because the baby was moving and when it was the probe moving. But she did keep saying that the baby was moving a lot, which made me feel good. It also made me long for the time I would begin to feel the movements. My mother often said that I did not move enough when she was pregnant with me, and she would often get worried about whether or not I was okay in there. I told my husband later that the baby must have taken after him, seeing how restless he often was.
The doctor came in later and did the nuchal translucency scan for Down's and said that the nuchal fold looked nice and thin and that everything looked good. I asked him about the hematoma. He said that it would probably dissolve on its own eventually. If only I had a dollar for each time I heard a doctor say that. I don't care, really, about those dollars. All I really wanted was a baby and I was trying as hard as I could to stay positive and focused about the health of the pregnancy.
I asked him about the cramping and discomfort that I was experiencing. He said that any time you have bleeding, you should expect to have some pain and cramping. Whenever you have bleeding, they would ask you to take it easy and rest for a bit. That should take care of both the pain and the bleeding. I can't say I was entirely convinced, since both my episodes of bleeding had started and gone from bad to worse while I was in bed, sleeping or trying to sleep. But this was an experienced high risk OB and I figured that there had to be some truth to what he was telling me.
I went in for blood draws at their office and the doctor told me that he would like me to come back in about three weeks for a follow up ultrasound and another blood draw. The nurses told me that they would get the blood work results in about a week, but they would call me only if something was wrong, so I should know that no news is good news.
I had an episode of heavy, painful bleeding every time I did something even remotely strenuous, like being on my feet for an hour at a time. Just standing in the kitchen, cooking or walking around a baby furniture store in a leisurely way. I tried to avoid even that kind of physical strain as far as I could, but I was miserable that I could not even go out for a walk with my husband. I tried to remind myself that in the end it would all be worth it because I would have a baby to hold in my arms. Even so, each time I had one of those episodes, it was so painful that sometimes I just felt like I was going to die and wondered what was going to happen to me when I went into labor.
I had an episode of heavy bleeding when I was a day short of fourteen weeks. I had read that subchorionic hematomas that continued to bleed into the second trimester were more dangerous than ones that resolved themselves in the first trimester. It scared me a little more than I already was, but by this time, I was beginning to think that if my baby and I had survived all the pain and bleeding that had happened until now, we could get through whatever the future had in store for us. My husband had been doubtful about whether or not he had properly injected the last dose of follicle stimulating hormone for me. We had still conceived this baby. I was starting to believe that this baby was strong and a fighter.
At my fifteen week ultrasound at Maternal Fetal Medicine, I met the doctor who was the Director of Maternal Fetal Medicine at the hospital. He looked over the anatomy of the baby and said that everything looked good. He said that he could still see the hematoma, but it was no longer liquid blood. The blood was all clotted up. I had read before that the blood being clotted was a sign that the hematoma was healing. I cross checked with him if the clotting was a good thing. He said yes. That was one of the few medical appointments that I had during the pregnancy after which I left the hospital feeling genuinely positive. There was still a hint of worry because the blood was still there, even though it was clotted up. At that point, I did not know what such a blood clot could do, but I was just a little worried simply because it is not normal to have a clot like that in your uterus.
Around this time, I was beginning to feel the baby move but I was not sure about what I was feeling at the time. Those early baby movements felt like gas bubbles in my stomach. I began to recognize them better at around eighteen weeks and at that point I could understand that I had been feeling those movements since around fifteen weeks. They were much less regular and rather infrequent at fifteen weeks, but they were there. When I started feeling the irregular movements, I wished that I could quickly get to the point where I began to feel the movements more regularly so that I would not need ultrasounds to get the reassurance that my baby was doing fine.
When I was at almost eighteen weeks, I received a phone call from the department of Maternal Fetal Medicine. They told me that one of my blood tests had come back rather abnormal. This test measured the quantity of Alpha Fetoprotein (AFP) in my blood. This is a protein that is produced by a growing fetus between sixteen and twenty two weeks and then its production stops. That marker was abnormally elevated in my blood. That was a sign that my baby could possibly have spina bifida. They told me that the odds that my baby had spina bifida were about one in 620. I knew that normal odds across the population were about one in 800. I also knew that bleeding during pregnancy can often throw off this marker. So I was not too worried at that point. The staff there seemed to be overly concerned and wanted me to come in the same or next day for an ultrasound. I was just tired of ultrasounds and doctor appointments at that point and did not want to go in for any more of those at all. I asked them that if the baby did actually have spina bifida, could they do anything about it if it was confirmed earlier rather than later? They said no. I asked what they would do if it was actually confirmed. They said that since spina bifida can restrict the growth of the baby inside the womb, they would just monitor the growth more closely. I told them that I already had an appointment for a routine ultrasound at Women's Imaging for the following week and I wanted to wait for that one. They told me that they had better equipment over at Maternal Fetal Medicine and that they would schedule me in for the same week and have me cancel my other appointment. So I ended up cancelling my other ultrasound and booking one with Maternal Fetal Medicine for the day before that one was supposed to be. I was also scheduled to meet their genetic counselor.
I knew that the staff was just doing their job and it was their job to make sure that their patients were fully aware of anything abnormal that came up during the course of their medical tests. For me, the big reason for going in for an ultrasound at eighteen weeks was that I would find out if I was having a girl or a boy. The other things were all secondary.
At this point, I had not had any bleeding in about three weeks, which was longer than I had ever gone without it during that pregnancy. I had not had any bleeding since the time I had been told that the hematoma was healing, so I was beginning to believe that it was actually healing. I felt positive and was looking forward to finding out whether we should be buying pink or blue things for our baby.
I had a dream that I had a baby boy. Also, a lot of the stories I read about other women who had subchorionic hematomas were stories of women who had or lost baby boys. My friend from my online support group also had a boy. My intuition told me that we were going to have a boy. I had always wanted a girl, though, but I knew that having a healthy baby was more important than the baby's gender. I knew I would be happy either way.
I had my second episode of bleeding late at night, just like the first one, when I had my appointment at Maternal Fetal Medicine the very next morning. This was also mostly dark colored blood, but this time it came with bad cramps. Cramps that made me double over in pain and made it very difficult for me to turn over in bed or get out of bed to go to the bathroom. But I did have to go to the bathroom every hour or so, just like the last time.
I had to call in sick from work because the pain was still really bad in the morning. I was rather worried about how I was going to drive myself to the doctor's office in that state. My husband had a meeting at work at about the same time that day so he could not drive me. He offered to ask one of his friends to drive me. I told him I was more comfortable driving myself. I would be a little embarrassed if I had to ask his friend to stop a few times along the way so that I could go to the restroom in a Dunkin' Donuts or something. Plus, the place I had to go to at the hospital was clearly marked "Maternal Fetal Medicine" and I was not comfortable talking to this guy about the fact that I was pregnant. Not just yet, anyway. I had not even told my own brother at that point.
I was more worried about whether or not they would actually do an ultrasound while I was bleeding. The last three times, the ultrasound technicians had scanned me vaginally and also abdominally. I was not so sure about the vaginal part when I was actively bleeding. I called them to ask about it. They told me that it was okay, I could come in and they would do the ultrasound.
I used a couple of plastic grocery store bags to line my car seat and then drove off to the hospital. With much difficulty I made it from the parking lot to the restroom near the reception area. I had not stopped on the way to visit a restroom, and I was relieved to see that the bleeding had slowed down considerably. But I was still in a lot of pain. I asked the front desk staff if I would get to meet an actual doctor after the ultrasound. I wanted to know if I needed to stop by the OB's office to have my questions answered or if they could take care of them right there. They told me that, each time I had an ultrasound at their office, I would get to meet a doctor afterwards.
The ultrasound technician asked me if I had had any bleeding during the pregnancy. I almost laughed at the question. I told her about my two bleeding episodes and that I was still spotting at that moment. She told me that the baby was big enough now, at almost twelve weeks, to be seen properly in an abdominal scan and she didn't need to scan me vaginally any more. That was a bit of a relief, because it seemed like a vaginal scan would have added to the pain and discomfort at that time. She told me that the gel she was going to use for the ultrasound had been warmed up a little. That turned out to be a good thing, because that warm sensation on my belly seemed to help with the pain somewhat. She showed me each part of my little one's body as she scanned. She pointed out the baby's stomach, head, hands, feet and even kidneys. The good news was that the baby was growing normally. The bad news was that the hematoma had grown a little bit more. Even so, this was the first time I could see something clearly resembling a baby on the ultrasound monitor and it did feel like a miracle to know that I had life growing inside me.
The technician kept saying that the baby was moving all over the place. I could see the baby's limbs and head on the ultrasound screen, but it was hard for me to tell when I saw movement because the baby was moving and when it was the probe moving. But she did keep saying that the baby was moving a lot, which made me feel good. It also made me long for the time I would begin to feel the movements. My mother often said that I did not move enough when she was pregnant with me, and she would often get worried about whether or not I was okay in there. I told my husband later that the baby must have taken after him, seeing how restless he often was.
The doctor came in later and did the nuchal translucency scan for Down's and said that the nuchal fold looked nice and thin and that everything looked good. I asked him about the hematoma. He said that it would probably dissolve on its own eventually. If only I had a dollar for each time I heard a doctor say that. I don't care, really, about those dollars. All I really wanted was a baby and I was trying as hard as I could to stay positive and focused about the health of the pregnancy.
I asked him about the cramping and discomfort that I was experiencing. He said that any time you have bleeding, you should expect to have some pain and cramping. Whenever you have bleeding, they would ask you to take it easy and rest for a bit. That should take care of both the pain and the bleeding. I can't say I was entirely convinced, since both my episodes of bleeding had started and gone from bad to worse while I was in bed, sleeping or trying to sleep. But this was an experienced high risk OB and I figured that there had to be some truth to what he was telling me.
I went in for blood draws at their office and the doctor told me that he would like me to come back in about three weeks for a follow up ultrasound and another blood draw. The nurses told me that they would get the blood work results in about a week, but they would call me only if something was wrong, so I should know that no news is good news.
I had an episode of heavy, painful bleeding every time I did something even remotely strenuous, like being on my feet for an hour at a time. Just standing in the kitchen, cooking or walking around a baby furniture store in a leisurely way. I tried to avoid even that kind of physical strain as far as I could, but I was miserable that I could not even go out for a walk with my husband. I tried to remind myself that in the end it would all be worth it because I would have a baby to hold in my arms. Even so, each time I had one of those episodes, it was so painful that sometimes I just felt like I was going to die and wondered what was going to happen to me when I went into labor.
I had an episode of heavy bleeding when I was a day short of fourteen weeks. I had read that subchorionic hematomas that continued to bleed into the second trimester were more dangerous than ones that resolved themselves in the first trimester. It scared me a little more than I already was, but by this time, I was beginning to think that if my baby and I had survived all the pain and bleeding that had happened until now, we could get through whatever the future had in store for us. My husband had been doubtful about whether or not he had properly injected the last dose of follicle stimulating hormone for me. We had still conceived this baby. I was starting to believe that this baby was strong and a fighter.
At my fifteen week ultrasound at Maternal Fetal Medicine, I met the doctor who was the Director of Maternal Fetal Medicine at the hospital. He looked over the anatomy of the baby and said that everything looked good. He said that he could still see the hematoma, but it was no longer liquid blood. The blood was all clotted up. I had read before that the blood being clotted was a sign that the hematoma was healing. I cross checked with him if the clotting was a good thing. He said yes. That was one of the few medical appointments that I had during the pregnancy after which I left the hospital feeling genuinely positive. There was still a hint of worry because the blood was still there, even though it was clotted up. At that point, I did not know what such a blood clot could do, but I was just a little worried simply because it is not normal to have a clot like that in your uterus.
Around this time, I was beginning to feel the baby move but I was not sure about what I was feeling at the time. Those early baby movements felt like gas bubbles in my stomach. I began to recognize them better at around eighteen weeks and at that point I could understand that I had been feeling those movements since around fifteen weeks. They were much less regular and rather infrequent at fifteen weeks, but they were there. When I started feeling the irregular movements, I wished that I could quickly get to the point where I began to feel the movements more regularly so that I would not need ultrasounds to get the reassurance that my baby was doing fine.
When I was at almost eighteen weeks, I received a phone call from the department of Maternal Fetal Medicine. They told me that one of my blood tests had come back rather abnormal. This test measured the quantity of Alpha Fetoprotein (AFP) in my blood. This is a protein that is produced by a growing fetus between sixteen and twenty two weeks and then its production stops. That marker was abnormally elevated in my blood. That was a sign that my baby could possibly have spina bifida. They told me that the odds that my baby had spina bifida were about one in 620. I knew that normal odds across the population were about one in 800. I also knew that bleeding during pregnancy can often throw off this marker. So I was not too worried at that point. The staff there seemed to be overly concerned and wanted me to come in the same or next day for an ultrasound. I was just tired of ultrasounds and doctor appointments at that point and did not want to go in for any more of those at all. I asked them that if the baby did actually have spina bifida, could they do anything about it if it was confirmed earlier rather than later? They said no. I asked what they would do if it was actually confirmed. They said that since spina bifida can restrict the growth of the baby inside the womb, they would just monitor the growth more closely. I told them that I already had an appointment for a routine ultrasound at Women's Imaging for the following week and I wanted to wait for that one. They told me that they had better equipment over at Maternal Fetal Medicine and that they would schedule me in for the same week and have me cancel my other appointment. So I ended up cancelling my other ultrasound and booking one with Maternal Fetal Medicine for the day before that one was supposed to be. I was also scheduled to meet their genetic counselor.
I knew that the staff was just doing their job and it was their job to make sure that their patients were fully aware of anything abnormal that came up during the course of their medical tests. For me, the big reason for going in for an ultrasound at eighteen weeks was that I would find out if I was having a girl or a boy. The other things were all secondary.
At this point, I had not had any bleeding in about three weeks, which was longer than I had ever gone without it during that pregnancy. I had not had any bleeding since the time I had been told that the hematoma was healing, so I was beginning to believe that it was actually healing. I felt positive and was looking forward to finding out whether we should be buying pink or blue things for our baby.
I had a dream that I had a baby boy. Also, a lot of the stories I read about other women who had subchorionic hematomas were stories of women who had or lost baby boys. My friend from my online support group also had a boy. My intuition told me that we were going to have a boy. I had always wanted a girl, though, but I knew that having a healthy baby was more important than the baby's gender. I knew I would be happy either way.
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