My husband and I were very cautiously excited in the beginning. I told myself that I would not really believe it until I at least heard a heartbeat.
The doctor's office wanted me to repeat the blood test two days after the original to make sure it was rising appropriately. Then they wanted to do an ultrasound a week later, and another one two weeks after that. I told them I could come in a week later, but I would be away for three weeks after that because I had to fly overseas to attend my brother's wedding. In that case, they said, I should come in for an ultrasound and meet the doctor before flying out.
My HCG level rose nicely, it went to 935 in two days. A week later I went in for the ultrasound. It was the day before I had to fly out. I knew it could still be too early to hear a heartbeat, but I was still hoping that I would hear it. I was just over five weeks pregnant at this point.
The ultrasound technician was one I was familiar with, one who had done a lot of scans of my ovaries and measured my follicles. It was a little comforting to be with someone familiar at a time when I was so nervous. As she moved the ultrasound probe, she said, "Here's what we're seeing. Just the gestational sac for now." I felt like I was in a bad dream. The first thought that came to my mind was that it was probably another early miscarriage or a blighted ovum or something like that. I didn't know what to say or ask or think. She finished up with her measurements and led me back into the waiting room.
The doctor called me soon after that. She explained to me that, at about five weeks, they didn't usually see a fetus but they saw something called a yolk sac inside the gestational sac. But it was not very unusual to not see the yolk sac at this stage. She said that it would have been great if they could have seen the yolk sac, but maybe it was just too small and they didn't see it or that it was just a little too early to see it. She said it was perfectly normal to not be able to see anything until six weeks or so.
She told me that I would need to go in for an ultrasound in two weeks while I was traveling and communicate the results back to them. She said that once we were able to hear a heartbeat on an ultrasound, the odds of a miscarriage would go down drastically. Normally, I knew, the chances of a miscarriage are pretty high during early pregnancy. She also mentioned that it was a good thing that I had not had any bleeding so far. If I did have any bleeding, I should go straight to a hospital.
The nurse reassured me that it was very likely that it was just too early to see much more on the ultrasound, and that I should stay positive. She gave me her email address since I was traveling internationally, across time zones, and it would be difficult for me to speak to them on the phone during their normal business hours.
When I shared all of this with my online support group, one of the women said that the same thing had happened to her with her first child, they had seen only a gestational sac at five weeks. They went back a week later and heard a heartbeat. It was reassuring to know that it had actually happened to someone in real life. Hearing that kind of story holds much more weight than being told by a doctor that similar things happen to other people too.
Anyway, I realized that there was not much I could do at that point, other than wait for two weeks and go in for another ultrasound. I would have to find a hospital and make an appointment as soon as possible. I had not been to my home country in more than two and a half years and had never been to an obstetrician's office over there, so I would have to look for one.
For the moment, I decided to focus on the fact that I would be seeing my parents and my brother after so long and on how exciting it was that my little brother was getting married. I was very emotional when my flight landed, because I had not slept through the entire seventeen or so hours of flight time and the pregnancy hormones were messing with my emotions. My husband and I had not yet told anyone, not even our parents, about the pregnancy. I wanted to wait at least until we heard a heartbeat. So my mother was a little taken aback when I hugged her and started crying as soon as I saw her.
My brother and soon-to-be sister in law also came to the airport to receive me. It was the first time I was meeting her, but I liked her almost immediately. It felt good to be surrounded by family and to have so many people to talk to. I was glad that I would have enough festivities over the next couple of weeks to keep me occupied and to keep me from worrying about my pregnancy. I just had to make sure that I ate healthy and got enough rest. The rest part was a little difficult because I would usually wake up between 4 and 5 AM the first few days while I was jet lagged. The food part was easier, since my mother had not seen me in so long and wanted to make all my favorite dishes for me and was always asking me what I wanted to eat. The only problem was making up excuses to avoid cough syrup with alcohol in it. I had to just put up with the somewhat sore throat I had because of dust allergies, pretty much as soon as I landed.
Once I was actually there, back in my own country, I got preoccupied with everything that was going on around me and did not obsess over what was going on inside my belly. I had fun, enjoyed the festivities, ate food cooked by my mother and danced at my brother's wedding. I scheduled an ultrasound for two days after the wedding.
On the morning of my appointment, my husband drove me to the hospital. The radiologist performing the ultrasound came across to me as a rather strange person. She did not want my husband to be in the examination room. She said that he should stay on the other side of the curtain because she needed to scan me trans vaginally. She said she would call him in later. I did object once but I did not have the energy to argue with her. But I have serious doubts about the mental stability of a person who does not want a husband to be with his wife during an ultrasound where they would probably hear their baby's heartbeat for the first time. And she appeared to be uncomfortable about the idea of him being in the room when I was not fully clothed. Exactly how did she imagine babies being conceived?
While she was scanning me, she started asking questions about whether I had had any bleeding or spotting or if I had seen any brownish discharge. I told her I had not, but the way she was asking the questions was a little worrisome to me.
Anyway, the woman did call him in towards the end, after covering me up with a sheet and showed both of us the tiny little baby and we were able to hear the heartbeat. I barely had the opportunity to feel happy and excited about the life growing inside me when she said, "Look, here's that baby, growing as expected, heartbeat is fine, but here I see an irregular collection of blood."
"What does that mean? Is that a problem?" I asked her.
"I don't know, it may be. I will write out my report and then you should take it to a doctor and seek their advice."
She started explaining things to her assistant and telling her what to write in the report as I was getting dressed, right there in the same room. I asked her to explain a couple of terms to me as she was talking to her assistant and she, without so much as a glance in my direction, said, "It's a medical term."
That was a very different experience from what I had had with doctors in the States until then. Just about all the doctors, nurses and ultrasound technicians I had met would, at the very least, be polite and willing to explain the details of your case as best as they could. This woman was just plain horrid. Making a confusing and worrisome situation even worse.
The assistant, as she led us out, told us not to worry too much. She said she had seen a lot of women experience a lot of bleeding during pregnancy and still have perfectly healthy babies. It was a good sign that I had not had any bleeding so far.
My husband took me to the OB-GYN who had delivered him when he was born. She was much older than any doctor I had even been to before. She had gray hair tied back in a bun. She looked over the report that the radiologist had written out. She asked me why I had even traveled overseas when I knew I was pregnant. I told her that I had consulted with my doctor in the States and she had expressed no reason whatsoever why it would be inadvisable to travel. This doctor said that I should not have traveled, especially since I was being treated for PCOD. This was another thing that made me rather uncomfortable. Both this doctor and the radiologist used the outdated, less accurate and more terrifying term "Poly cystic ovarian disease" instead of "Poly cystic ovarian syndrome." I was also to learn later that they were using a more terrifying term for the blood collection by calling it "sub chorionic hemorrhage" instead of "sub chorionic hematoma."
I mentioned to her that I had had the other ultrasound 18 days earlier, and the doctor had advised me to have another one in about two weeks. Like a school teacher reprimanding a student who had not handed in her homework on time, she demanded to know why I had not had that ultrasound in two weeks after the first one.
This doctor insisted that I had brought on this hemorrhage by taking on undue stress by traveling, shopping for the wedding, dancing at the wedding and so on. I took a strong dislike to her right then. I had read enough medical literature in recent times to know that air travel during early pregnancy was not dangerous, and the only reason why a doctor would advise against it would be if the destination did not have adequate health care facilities, because problems are more likely to occur during very early pregnancy, irrespective of travel or anything else, and dealing with them becomes more difficult while traveling.
I had also read enough to know that modern doctors advocate being active and doing light to moderate exercise during pregnancy. They recommend continuing with a similar level of activity to what you were doing before you got pregnant.
This doctor was evidently stuck with the same outdated knowledge and beliefs that she had acquired in medical school when she originally became a doctor.
She advised me to be on complete bed rest for the next two weeks, take progesterone and HCG supplements, cancel my return flight, and come back in two weeks for another ultrasound.
I do not know what she learnt in medical school or if she had any basic human instincts, but I do know that, even years ago, most medical professionals and most sane human beings acknowledged that all attempts should be made to minimize stress during pregnancy. Even a normal, healthy pregnancy. An already complicated pregnancy can be further worsened by undue stress. This woman, on the other hand, was trying everything in her power to freak me out and make me feel as worried and stressed out as I possibly could. I have to say that I hated her for that.
We still had about four days to go before our return flight. We wanted to consult another doctor who was my mother-in-law's distant cousin but based in another city. I read out the report to her over the phone and she said that she didn't see a need for complete bed rest, but would definitely recommend taking it easy, avoiding moderate or heavy exercise and abstaining from intercourse. That sounded much more reasonable. She recommended postponing the return flight not because it was unsafe to travel, but because if I stayed, I would be surrounded by family who would be willing to do the household chores and so I would be able to get more rest. I did see her point, but I was not sure I agreed completely.
I knew that, even if I was able to get additional time off on medical grounds, my husband would not be able to get extra time off. So postponing the flight would mean that I would have to travel alone. I was not too happy about that prospect. Plus, I would have to deal with doctors who made me rather uncomfortable. And I can't say that I would be too comfortable staying for too long with at my husband's parents' house in his absence. I had spent maybe a total of ten days at that house during that trip and during the first few days after our wedding, before flying out to the States. I would want to stay with my own parents and my husband and his parents would probably be offended by that. Even so, I knew I would definitely be most comfortable in my own house and seeing my own doctors during a stressful time like this.
I also sent a copy of the report to my RE's nurse via email and asked for their thoughts. She said that my doctor and her colleagues did not recommend the course of treatment that was prescribed. They do not suggest any of the medication and did not feel a need for complete bed rest. All they wanted me to do was to keep taking my prenatal multivitamins and avoid sex and strenuous exercise.
My husband and I arrived at a decision after considering everyone's viewpoints. We decided that I would fly back with him as planned. I would take the medications with me and take them for two weeks. I knew that they would not be harmful during pregnancy, so I thought they were worth giving a try. I would keep my first appointment with the OB's medical assistant, which was only two days after I was supposed to arrive back home. I was also supposed to meet the OB about a week after her assistant had done the initial evaluation and preliminary blood work.
The doctor's office wanted me to repeat the blood test two days after the original to make sure it was rising appropriately. Then they wanted to do an ultrasound a week later, and another one two weeks after that. I told them I could come in a week later, but I would be away for three weeks after that because I had to fly overseas to attend my brother's wedding. In that case, they said, I should come in for an ultrasound and meet the doctor before flying out.
My HCG level rose nicely, it went to 935 in two days. A week later I went in for the ultrasound. It was the day before I had to fly out. I knew it could still be too early to hear a heartbeat, but I was still hoping that I would hear it. I was just over five weeks pregnant at this point.
The ultrasound technician was one I was familiar with, one who had done a lot of scans of my ovaries and measured my follicles. It was a little comforting to be with someone familiar at a time when I was so nervous. As she moved the ultrasound probe, she said, "Here's what we're seeing. Just the gestational sac for now." I felt like I was in a bad dream. The first thought that came to my mind was that it was probably another early miscarriage or a blighted ovum or something like that. I didn't know what to say or ask or think. She finished up with her measurements and led me back into the waiting room.
The doctor called me soon after that. She explained to me that, at about five weeks, they didn't usually see a fetus but they saw something called a yolk sac inside the gestational sac. But it was not very unusual to not see the yolk sac at this stage. She said that it would have been great if they could have seen the yolk sac, but maybe it was just too small and they didn't see it or that it was just a little too early to see it. She said it was perfectly normal to not be able to see anything until six weeks or so.
She told me that I would need to go in for an ultrasound in two weeks while I was traveling and communicate the results back to them. She said that once we were able to hear a heartbeat on an ultrasound, the odds of a miscarriage would go down drastically. Normally, I knew, the chances of a miscarriage are pretty high during early pregnancy. She also mentioned that it was a good thing that I had not had any bleeding so far. If I did have any bleeding, I should go straight to a hospital.
The nurse reassured me that it was very likely that it was just too early to see much more on the ultrasound, and that I should stay positive. She gave me her email address since I was traveling internationally, across time zones, and it would be difficult for me to speak to them on the phone during their normal business hours.
When I shared all of this with my online support group, one of the women said that the same thing had happened to her with her first child, they had seen only a gestational sac at five weeks. They went back a week later and heard a heartbeat. It was reassuring to know that it had actually happened to someone in real life. Hearing that kind of story holds much more weight than being told by a doctor that similar things happen to other people too.
Anyway, I realized that there was not much I could do at that point, other than wait for two weeks and go in for another ultrasound. I would have to find a hospital and make an appointment as soon as possible. I had not been to my home country in more than two and a half years and had never been to an obstetrician's office over there, so I would have to look for one.
For the moment, I decided to focus on the fact that I would be seeing my parents and my brother after so long and on how exciting it was that my little brother was getting married. I was very emotional when my flight landed, because I had not slept through the entire seventeen or so hours of flight time and the pregnancy hormones were messing with my emotions. My husband and I had not yet told anyone, not even our parents, about the pregnancy. I wanted to wait at least until we heard a heartbeat. So my mother was a little taken aback when I hugged her and started crying as soon as I saw her.
My brother and soon-to-be sister in law also came to the airport to receive me. It was the first time I was meeting her, but I liked her almost immediately. It felt good to be surrounded by family and to have so many people to talk to. I was glad that I would have enough festivities over the next couple of weeks to keep me occupied and to keep me from worrying about my pregnancy. I just had to make sure that I ate healthy and got enough rest. The rest part was a little difficult because I would usually wake up between 4 and 5 AM the first few days while I was jet lagged. The food part was easier, since my mother had not seen me in so long and wanted to make all my favorite dishes for me and was always asking me what I wanted to eat. The only problem was making up excuses to avoid cough syrup with alcohol in it. I had to just put up with the somewhat sore throat I had because of dust allergies, pretty much as soon as I landed.
Once I was actually there, back in my own country, I got preoccupied with everything that was going on around me and did not obsess over what was going on inside my belly. I had fun, enjoyed the festivities, ate food cooked by my mother and danced at my brother's wedding. I scheduled an ultrasound for two days after the wedding.
On the morning of my appointment, my husband drove me to the hospital. The radiologist performing the ultrasound came across to me as a rather strange person. She did not want my husband to be in the examination room. She said that he should stay on the other side of the curtain because she needed to scan me trans vaginally. She said she would call him in later. I did object once but I did not have the energy to argue with her. But I have serious doubts about the mental stability of a person who does not want a husband to be with his wife during an ultrasound where they would probably hear their baby's heartbeat for the first time. And she appeared to be uncomfortable about the idea of him being in the room when I was not fully clothed. Exactly how did she imagine babies being conceived?
While she was scanning me, she started asking questions about whether I had had any bleeding or spotting or if I had seen any brownish discharge. I told her I had not, but the way she was asking the questions was a little worrisome to me.
Anyway, the woman did call him in towards the end, after covering me up with a sheet and showed both of us the tiny little baby and we were able to hear the heartbeat. I barely had the opportunity to feel happy and excited about the life growing inside me when she said, "Look, here's that baby, growing as expected, heartbeat is fine, but here I see an irregular collection of blood."
"What does that mean? Is that a problem?" I asked her.
"I don't know, it may be. I will write out my report and then you should take it to a doctor and seek their advice."
She started explaining things to her assistant and telling her what to write in the report as I was getting dressed, right there in the same room. I asked her to explain a couple of terms to me as she was talking to her assistant and she, without so much as a glance in my direction, said, "It's a medical term."
That was a very different experience from what I had had with doctors in the States until then. Just about all the doctors, nurses and ultrasound technicians I had met would, at the very least, be polite and willing to explain the details of your case as best as they could. This woman was just plain horrid. Making a confusing and worrisome situation even worse.
The assistant, as she led us out, told us not to worry too much. She said she had seen a lot of women experience a lot of bleeding during pregnancy and still have perfectly healthy babies. It was a good sign that I had not had any bleeding so far.
My husband took me to the OB-GYN who had delivered him when he was born. She was much older than any doctor I had even been to before. She had gray hair tied back in a bun. She looked over the report that the radiologist had written out. She asked me why I had even traveled overseas when I knew I was pregnant. I told her that I had consulted with my doctor in the States and she had expressed no reason whatsoever why it would be inadvisable to travel. This doctor said that I should not have traveled, especially since I was being treated for PCOD. This was another thing that made me rather uncomfortable. Both this doctor and the radiologist used the outdated, less accurate and more terrifying term "Poly cystic ovarian disease" instead of "Poly cystic ovarian syndrome." I was also to learn later that they were using a more terrifying term for the blood collection by calling it "sub chorionic hemorrhage" instead of "sub chorionic hematoma."
I mentioned to her that I had had the other ultrasound 18 days earlier, and the doctor had advised me to have another one in about two weeks. Like a school teacher reprimanding a student who had not handed in her homework on time, she demanded to know why I had not had that ultrasound in two weeks after the first one.
This doctor insisted that I had brought on this hemorrhage by taking on undue stress by traveling, shopping for the wedding, dancing at the wedding and so on. I took a strong dislike to her right then. I had read enough medical literature in recent times to know that air travel during early pregnancy was not dangerous, and the only reason why a doctor would advise against it would be if the destination did not have adequate health care facilities, because problems are more likely to occur during very early pregnancy, irrespective of travel or anything else, and dealing with them becomes more difficult while traveling.
I had also read enough to know that modern doctors advocate being active and doing light to moderate exercise during pregnancy. They recommend continuing with a similar level of activity to what you were doing before you got pregnant.
This doctor was evidently stuck with the same outdated knowledge and beliefs that she had acquired in medical school when she originally became a doctor.
She advised me to be on complete bed rest for the next two weeks, take progesterone and HCG supplements, cancel my return flight, and come back in two weeks for another ultrasound.
I do not know what she learnt in medical school or if she had any basic human instincts, but I do know that, even years ago, most medical professionals and most sane human beings acknowledged that all attempts should be made to minimize stress during pregnancy. Even a normal, healthy pregnancy. An already complicated pregnancy can be further worsened by undue stress. This woman, on the other hand, was trying everything in her power to freak me out and make me feel as worried and stressed out as I possibly could. I have to say that I hated her for that.
We still had about four days to go before our return flight. We wanted to consult another doctor who was my mother-in-law's distant cousin but based in another city. I read out the report to her over the phone and she said that she didn't see a need for complete bed rest, but would definitely recommend taking it easy, avoiding moderate or heavy exercise and abstaining from intercourse. That sounded much more reasonable. She recommended postponing the return flight not because it was unsafe to travel, but because if I stayed, I would be surrounded by family who would be willing to do the household chores and so I would be able to get more rest. I did see her point, but I was not sure I agreed completely.
I knew that, even if I was able to get additional time off on medical grounds, my husband would not be able to get extra time off. So postponing the flight would mean that I would have to travel alone. I was not too happy about that prospect. Plus, I would have to deal with doctors who made me rather uncomfortable. And I can't say that I would be too comfortable staying for too long with at my husband's parents' house in his absence. I had spent maybe a total of ten days at that house during that trip and during the first few days after our wedding, before flying out to the States. I would want to stay with my own parents and my husband and his parents would probably be offended by that. Even so, I knew I would definitely be most comfortable in my own house and seeing my own doctors during a stressful time like this.
I also sent a copy of the report to my RE's nurse via email and asked for their thoughts. She said that my doctor and her colleagues did not recommend the course of treatment that was prescribed. They do not suggest any of the medication and did not feel a need for complete bed rest. All they wanted me to do was to keep taking my prenatal multivitamins and avoid sex and strenuous exercise.
My husband and I arrived at a decision after considering everyone's viewpoints. We decided that I would fly back with him as planned. I would take the medications with me and take them for two weeks. I knew that they would not be harmful during pregnancy, so I thought they were worth giving a try. I would keep my first appointment with the OB's medical assistant, which was only two days after I was supposed to arrive back home. I was also supposed to meet the OB about a week after her assistant had done the initial evaluation and preliminary blood work.
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